I Saw

There is so much of the world to see, so much just here in the USA.
I believe we truly forget what is out there around us.
This week we are on a trip with our youngest Daughter and her Husband.  The things I've seen and some of them not for the first time have reminded me of many things, but mostly how Greatful I am, and that my Blessings are in every moment I live.
I met Chum Lee from Pawn Stars TV show, he gave my grandson knuckles and an Autograph.  Inside Pawn Stars store, which is so very small,. After waiting in line to get in..... Lots of people pushing and wondering around, it's interesting how many languages you can hear in a small space.
I saw a man sitting in front of a store with a sign:  "Girlfriend locked in pay Toilet, need 50 cents".
I saw a man (who's face and hair looked like Santa Claus), he was standing next to his wheelchair, which was parked by a bank of newspaper boxes...holding out his hand accepting donations........   This one made me wonder.... At one time in his life What he must have done for work, or what his childhood was like, or how he was when he was young....
I saw a nice looking Lady, dressed normally nice (not overdone) pretty but not overly made up, she was going into a casino in LV, 15 minutes later I see her take $ from a very frumpy shorter, balding man as they walked down the sidewalk area.  She in her high heel tall black hooker boots, and he I. His old Velcro closed black tennis shoes, he had a limp to his walk.
I saw a short waddling man with taller than his forehead wicked eyebrows, and he talked in Donald Ducks  voice.
I've heard people (woman's voice) screaming "OH GOD" over and over from the room next door.
I met the nicest cab driver in Las Vegas, 2 minutes after the scam cab driver thought I was dumb. I wasn't paying $20 for a $7.00 fare.  The good guy got a $5.00 tip and he came back around the big block for me.
I've experienced a whole city a long a major freeway in a black out, in -15 temps.  But the flying J had power 1/2 mile down the road.

I've seen mountains, valleys, hills and dales, snow, and sun, horses, cattle, and coyotes and so much more.
Majestic sites all around!
Enough for now.

Tears of Fear

Tightness surrounds my being,
Fears pulling at every muscle in my body.
Tearing at every thought running through my mind.
Ripping and Shredding apart the very strands that bind me.
Silently a single drop falls, then two, then more.....
now a constant pouring of Tears of Fear of the known. 
I know it will not be pleasant, it will hurt, and it will heal.
I know.
More Tears of what I know,
My brain drifting back
to the other times.....It too was the same.
Tears........ for Hours.
Panic and Fear
controls and owns my being...
at the Dentist.

4/8/2013

Fire of Life

I watch the flames turn,
blue, orange, yellow red.....

I see each segment of life in there, burning hot.

Every intake of air breezing around this life
initiates change.

In a Hushed crackle it burns, Time Passes.......
quietly, slowly soaking up every flame,
burning up.... unnoticed until the Ash particals fall.

Silently every ember of life changes
cloaked by a worldly shield of armor
 called Life.

4/8/2013  SJB


Life goes on and on and on. We don't slow down, and as we use up or burn up this life we are given, we don't see it growing older as it is wearing a cloak so we won't notice.  But as I sat by the campfire I noticed how so very much the burning wood was like life, and how things change in an instant.  Ageing, and getting smaller and smaller as it burns.
 I will be 50 in July, and It is bothering this girl some. I'm feeling older as it approaches.  I know it will be like anyother day really.  I enjoyed turning 40, so I'm sure I'll enjoy 50.  Somehow, someway.  I really didn't think it would bother or effect me, but wow.  Realizing that my body is wearing out, I'm tired.  Ive done it to myself, truly, but not intentional.  Knowing that things won't get easier, even though that is what is claimed in our world...... I will continue to bear with it, staying Positive, Being Proactive, and Productive.  Its not feeling like its going to be easy today. Maybe tomorrow.
Sheila

Smile

Today.... Is another animated production thru time
A stage of performance,
Considering alternatives is flickering.....like a movie
Inside my eyes.

Just Smile.....

Play the game
I'm on stage
Hide the real me
One more day.

2/17/13

Wondering

I wonder how you speak the words
Those that are believed by you
I hear the cracks in your story,
I see the items of which you speak
I wonder

I wonder, do you know how it makes you look to others,
How unbelievable your words are
Even to me,  I do not believe
I wonder....

I wonder why this is your new way
The stories you tell to cover the last
The words you speak altered in some way
To help you believe you have nothing......
And I wonder

Your statements do not jive
There is too much from before
Forgotten words you've said

I wonder, who you are

2/9/13

Anger Fills

The Anger seeps out of you,
In every non smile,
Every word, every look.
Your Angry,...... You are not who you were.
Sadly the Anger it feeding off of you, destroying you
Your compassion is thin, your patience is GONE,

The Anger  oozes from you

Are you in a box, one of selfishness, one of uncaring, one of ANGER?

Please come out and play while we are still here.

Find your joy, and live with loving kindness toward yourself and others, and...
Be done with this  hateful Anger inside,
Practice daily....random
KINDNESS  to others LOVINGLY!

Prayers

Forgiving

If you can forgive, would, you will feel better....?
Forgiveness given is a huge gift,  But to do it,...... is a huge task.
Jesus forgives us all, every day for all things

Forgive, it is such a big big word,  when you really think about how Big and Hard
the meaning of this word really is.  It is an act done by one,, if It can be found.  Where do I find it?

If you can truly forgive a situation that has caused you pain, Do you also forgive the person?
The person who caused a pain that I cannot forget.......A pain that I think about daily.

I cannot change who they are or how their morals run, they may do the same act again....
Do I, knowing this, forgive anyway?
what does "forget" have to do with "forgive" anyhow?  We're not really going to forget, not really!
People cannot hear when they are hurt.  The pain is blinding
People cannot think when they are overloaded with life, then add pain (hurt).
And forgiveness Becomes harder....
People cannot forget when they are accused,
It is what others think that which is not true.
I cannot change their way of thinking.
Sometimes broken things can be mended and be stronger than they were before.
Mending is the Hardest part........
Glue is not the fixer........
but if I could get glue to work,  I could forgive.......... &Forget?